


The choice is yours

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Child Death, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Family Loss, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 11:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: The brutal force takes away everything he has, leaving him bare, alone and with nothing left





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello! We have another giveaway fic, ready for you to read!  
This one is by the amazing @msjpuddleduck, the same amazing person that’s behind the ‘In A Crowd Of Thousands’ idea.  
Here is where I must put a disclaimer, and it’s not the usual one. Here is where I say that this is ANGST, DARK, PAIN AND TEARS. You have been warned.  
Enjoy…? <3

„How are you feeling today?” he asked as he walked into his office, closing the door behind him and dropping the stack of files onto his desk. He fell into the comfort of his office chair with a soft thud, sighing as he listened to the sound of her voice.

“My back hurts a little, and my feet are swollen, but other than that I’m okay. I wouldn’t complain if I could get more sleep, though.” Her laughter filled his ears like the sweetest melody, and he suddenly longed to have her back in his arms. Two weeks was entirely too long.

“And how is our little one?”

“Alive and kicking, I’ll tell you that.” She giggled and then moaned, presumably in pain as she experienced a blow to her spine. “And she says ‘hi’, though I’m not sure why she’s so aggressive. She must be taking that after you, all your grumpiness and constantly being annoyed with everything must be written in your genes.” She teased him, and he could almost see the smirk on her face.

“I miss you.” he was smiling, but the empty feeling in his chest was not a pleasant feeling. They have been married for the past two years and he still didn’t get used to them being apart, even if it was only for a conference. He got used to them being together, and he intended to keep it that way forever.

“I miss you too. But don’t worry, you’ll see me soon. Both of us. We’ll be back in three days, and then you’ll be able to keep me in bed for the whole day and night. As a matter of fact, please do. I’ll need my beauty sleep if you want me to not scare you to death with how I look.” She joked, of course, because to him she could never look bad, and she probably knew that.

“Dying from looking at you? What a pleasant death, with the last thing I ever look at being the most amazing person in the entire world, gorgeous, beautiful, smart, intelligent-“

“You do remember that we are married, right? You don’t need to woo me, I’m already yours.” She laughed as she imagined him blushing on the other end of the line. Two years ago he would be flustered, but after so much time spent with her, he learned how to give and take compliments, as well as how to tease her until she was begging or blushing, preferably both.

“I don’t need a reason to tell you how amazing you are. Or how much I love you. You just make me want to shout it from the rooftops, and you know how I don’t enjoy heights.”

“And I appreciate your sacrifice. I love you too, but I need to go, the conference is about to start. I’ll talk to you soon?” she said and her voice was filled with warmth, until another groan filled his ear. “And your daughter says bye too.”

“_Our_ daughter. Enjoy the conference, I’ll talk to you both later. I love you, Claire Ramsey.” He smiled as he said her full name, a sense of pride filling his chest.

“We love you too, Ethan. See you soon, love.” She ended the call, caressing her belly softly. Seven months into the pregnancy has been taking its toll on her, making her tired and sore all over, and yet here she was, out of the country for a two-week long conference, away from home, away from Ethan. Her husband. It still felt weird to call him that, and yet every time she did, she felt a sense of pride. He was hers, and she loved introducing him as one, her golden band saying more than words ever could.

She took a deep breath and stepped into the conference room, taking her seat and preparing herself for the next few hours of listening to the newest methods in her field. She talked to her neighbors, everyone knowing full well who she was. After all, the wife of Ethan Ramsey had a reputation of her own, but being tied to him had its effects. She dove into the conversation, when there suddenly was some commotion by the door.

And then the shots were heard.

\----- ----- -----

Ethan was walking down the corridor of the hospital, file in his hand, glasses on his nose as he thought about all the possible outcomes of the treatment he just suggested his patient. He was planning on leaving the file by the nurse’s station and go back to his office to call Claire, as it’s been four hours since they talked and the conference was definitely finished.

Before he could identify what was the strange sound he heard, he noticed Dr. Lahela walking into the waiting area, where the TV was displaying the news. The young doctor noticed the attending staring and his face turned grim as he winced. Ethan immediately knew something was wrong, but until he asked or came closer, he could only guess.

He approached the group of young residents, his eyes glued to the screen as he absorbed the information he was given.

A massive shooting at the conference in Denmark. Three people alive, no information on the victims.

He felt his blood run cold as he connected the dots. Conference. Denmark. Claire. Massive shooting. Three people alive.

His hand shot for his phone faster than ever before in his life, dialing his wife at the speed of light. Straight to the voicemail. He tried again, same result.

“Come on, baby, pick up. Please, pick up.” he begged as he tried, again and again, but all he heard was silence.

Sienna kneels down by him, offering him her hand, and after a moment of hesitation, he takes it, knowing that in a time like this, he would need all the strength he could get to get through this. Until he heard back from her. Until he saw his wife and his unborn child back home, back with him, back at his side, where he could keep them both safe.

Just like he promised them every day.

\----- ----- -----

Four hours. He’s been sitting in the waiting area for four hours, eyes glued to the screen, ears strained for any piece of information someone would give him. Still nothing. And she still didn’t call him back. His heart was racing the whole time, his hands were shaking. Naveen joined him about an hour into his waiting, and was checking up on him every thirty minutes.

He was about to call her again when the red patch flashed on the screen, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

_The police has identified most of the victims of the massive shooting in the conference hall in Denmark this morning. Families of the following people are asked to contact their local authorities for more information._

And then the list appeared on the screen. Seventy-six people, all doctors, from all different fields of medicine. The line seemed to never end, as though it was mocking him, refusing to give him the information he needed to remain sane. He felt a sense of relief wash over him slowly as the list was nearing its end, but before he relaxed completely, he was hit with reality with a strength of a truck.

There, right by the end of the list, were written the words that ended him.

_Dr. Clarissa Ramsey _

_Dr. Ramsey’s unborn child_

He felt his legs shake and he would have fallen if it wasn’t for Naveen, who wrapped his arms around him, keeping him upright.

“She’s gone… they both are…” he whispered as numbness filled his body.

“I’m so sorry, Ethan.” His mentor spoke softly, his grip tightening, not sure what to say. Nothing would or could make the situation any better.

Just then, another sound of steps could be heard, followed by the voice filled with mockery.

“What is it, Ramsey, did you finally destroy your career? Mourning your fails? How about you-“

He never got to finish the sentence, because Ethan’s fist connected with Declan’s jaw, sending him to the floor. Naveen reached for him, pulling him back before he could attack the man on the floor again.

“My wife and unborn child are _dead_, you asshole!” he screamed, pushing himself away from his mentor.

“Ethan…”

“I want to be left alone. Leave me be!” his voice boomed through the room as he turned around, practically running to the safety of his office.

Once there, the door closed, the lights turned off, he allowed himself to finally let the air escape his body. He fell to the ground, an empty, sickening sound filling the room. Sobs wrecked his body as tears fell down his cheeks, mourning for his family that was taken away from him with brute force.

And he would never see them again.

\----- ----- ------

When he said he would never see them again, he was wrong. He realized it only when it occurred to him that they would bring their bodies back, and he would have to identify her for the authorities to be sure.

Truth be told, he wasn’t sure how he felt by that point. He didn’t feel a thing, it was like he was robbed of all of them the moment he got the news. He debated whether he should go and see her body, knowing that the image won’t leave his head ever again.

But he felt like he had to, no matter the blow it would deal to his sanity.

The room was illuminated by the artificial lighting, the sterile environment making the whole experience even more comical to him. Here he was, a grieving husband and soon-to-be father, about to see his wife’s and unborn child’s dead bodies. It all felt like a cruel joke, a bad dream that he couldn’t seem to wake up from. It was his new reality, the one in which he would have to go back to living his life alone, like it was before Claire came into his life, changing him forever.

She looked so small in comparison to the big room. Her skin was pale, a sick shade of gray. When he looked to his left, he was met with a sight that made his stomach squeeze. A small table, holding his unborn child. His daughter that he would never get to meet. He felt his head spinning, and before he knew what was happening, his body threw him to the garbage can that caught his vomit.

His hands were shaking as he tried to get a grip of himself, but he knew that there was no way to get through this and be alright. He had to see them both, though. It was something he owed to them and to himself. With a deep breath and a heavy heart, he approached the smaller table slowly.

His daughter. Before meeting Claire he didn’t think he’d ever have a child. The mere thought used to terrify him, since he didn’t have a good relationship with his parents. But, like with many other things, Claire changed his mind. He suddenly couldn’t wait to start a family with her. When she told him that she was pregnant he suddenly started crying, his heart filling with so much love he was afraid he would burst. They embraced and kissed, celebrating the beginning of their little family, bringing new life to the world.

And now that life was severed. She was lying right before his eyes, so small and innocent, big enough for him to recognize the features of her tiny body. She never did anything bad, didn’t experience joy or happiness; she never would. He prayed to whatever force above him made the world turn that she didn’t feel pain. He reached for her, tracing her small face with his finger softly, mourning for his lost daughter.

And then Ethan turned to his wife. She looked as though she was sleeping, her eyes closed, lips relaxed. But she wasn’t sleeping. She was d_ead. _He knew that, but his brain refused to acknowledge that fully. She wasn’t smiling, she was… still. And it wasn’t right, none of it was. As he stepped closer to the table she was lying on, he noticed two bullet wounds, one to her stomach – _for his daughter_ – and one to her heart – _for her_. He wondered what the order of the shots were, wondered if she was aware their daughter was dead when she was dying too. He hoped that she didn’t, that would be just cruel, though, it was all a cruel joke the universe was playing on him.

He took her hand into his, lacing their fingers together. It was stiff, cold and unmoving. His other hand stroked her cheek as tears fell from his eyes. What did they ever do to deserve such fate? How much did he wrong the world for it to pay him back in such cruelty?

“I’m sorry. I love you so much, I’m so sorry.” He whispered as he cried, feeling all the strength leave his body.

He fell to the floor, her hand still in his as he sobbed on the ground. He was squeezing her fingers, as though if he squeezed tight enough, he could pass his life essence to her and wake her up, like from a bad dream.

But it was reality, and no matter what he did, he would always be alone.

\----- ----- -----

The day was grim and dark, skies crying along with him as two coffins were standing on the ground, side by side, about to be lowered into the same grave. Many people came to pay their respects to the late doctor, many tried talking to him, but he separated himself from them, hiding behind the hard face and indifference to everything that was said to him.

He was numb, like everything that happened didn’t happen to him. It was as though he was looking at it all through a thick veil of despair, and it was helping him a little, but he knew that he couldn’t keep it up like that forever. The dam would eventually break, and when it will, he will be a mess for everyone to see.

Naveen was by his side the whole time the ceremony was being held, not touching him, not saying anything. He was trying to protect the man who became a son to him from more pain, even though he knew he couldn’t save him from the heartbreak that would always follow him.

Ethan was asked to say a few words about his wife and daughter, and he almost refused, but then decided that he owed it to them. He stepped forward, stopping at the very front, two coffins in front of him, covered with flowers. He placed his hands on each of them, suddenly feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“I- I don’t think I’ve ever felt so lost. Claire is the light of my life, no matter where she is. She crashed into me and took me as her own. She saved me, made my life worthwhile. I’ll never love anyone as strongly and completely as I love her.” he took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes, choking on them. After a minute or so, he turned towards the smaller coffin.

“My daughter… is the greatest gift I’ve ever received. I never thought I would be a father, but as with many things, my wife changed my mind. We grew closer together, if that’s even possible. I wanted to give her the world, teach her everything she needed to know and provide her with everything she would need. She was innocent, never got to- t-to experience happiness, never wronged anyone.” His shoulders were moving unevenly as he felt his control slipping. His hands were shaking, vision getting blurred.

“I promised them to protect them, I promised myself to never let anything happen to them… a-and I f-fa… _I failed them._ They trusted me and I wasn’t there to keep them s-safe. I-“ he cut off, sobs wrecking his body as his knees gave out from under him, and he would have fallen if it wasn’t for Naveen’s quick reaction.

His mentor’s arms wrapped around him, holding him to his chest as he cried, hiding from the world. Naveen tried walking him away, but Ethan stopped him. _He needed to be there till the end, to say goodbye._

Coffins were about to be lowered into the ground when Ethan’s hand shot out, stopping them. He approached his daughter’s coffin slowly, placing his hand on the lid, leaning down to press his lips to it, whispering softly.

“_Goodbye, my daughter.”_

He then turned around, facing Claire’s coffin with a guilt written all over his face. He placed his both hands on the lid, pressing his lips where her head was under the wooden surface, eyes giving up and letting tears fall freely as he whispered.

“_Goodbye, my love.”_

He looked at the coffins being lowered to the ground, Naveen’s hand on his shoulder as he cried, mourning for his family, forever out of his reach.

\----- ----- -----

He opened the door to his apartment, Naveen closely behind him as Jenner greeted them at the door pensively, feeling that something was wrong. He fell onto the sofa heavily, blocking the world out again.

“Would you like some tea or maybe something to eat or-“

“Naveen, I’d like to be left alone.” He snapped at his mentor with tired voice, merely above a whisper.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now, it’s not the best-“

“I _am_ alone. I’ll always be alone from now on. My wife and daughter are dead, I’d like to grief in silence of an empty apartment.”

Naveen looked at his friend with a worried face. He has never seen him like this, but it didn’t take a genius to know what the case was. Their death destroyed him, left a raging hole in his chest, and he couldn’t help him. No one could help him. With a sense of defeat, Naveen nodded, placing his hand on Ethan’s shoulder briefly.

“I’m here if you need anything. Just say a word.” With that, he left, closing the door behind him.

Ethan was alone. Again. The empty silence was bringing him peace and killing him at the same time. Claire’s voice was bouncing off the walls, filling his ears with the sweetest melody that he would never hear again. He would never hug her again, never feel her lips on his, never see her again.

In a blink of an eye, he himself not sure how that happened, he was in the kitchen, pulling plates and glasses out of the cabinets, smashing them onto the ground and against the wall in a fit of rage. He was standing in the pool of broken glass, his hands red with blood from multiple cuts, and he was crying. So many tears were spilled, so many more would be spilled.

His eyes fell upon the shelf with their photos, one of them catching his eye in particular. He took the frame into his hands, tracing Claire’s face with his finger. It was taken on their wedding day, one of the happiest days of his life.

“I love you.” he whispered as he slipped onto the floor, falling into the deep slumber as the darkness swallowed him whole.

\----- ----- -----

Claire was looking at him with her big, green eyes. She was smiling brightly as she slowly approached him, looking just as he remembered her, glowing and very much pregnant. He felt tears gathering in his eyes as he started running towards her, his heart hammering in his chest. Just as he was about to reach her, he banged into an invisible wall. Claire looked at him confused, and then two shots ringed through the air. Two red spots appeared on her green blouse, stains growing with every second as her mouth opened, her lips mouthing words at him.

_You didn’t save us._

She then fell to the floor, cold and unmoving, her eyes still on him, dead and bleak and piercing him inside out. All the while he was hitting the invisible wall that was keeping him from them, screams that no one heard.

Ethan woke up with a scream, his whole body wet with sweat, loud sound bouncing off the walls of their- _his_ bedroom. It was third time that night, one night in the last four months that he decided to try to get some sleep. He stopped sleeping at night or for any period of time that was longer than thirty minutes because of that reason. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her, dying, and all he could do was watch.

He got out of bed, knowing that he won’t get any sleep that night either, and walked to the kitchen, suddenly hungry. He opened the cabinet, and there, right there on the shelf, was a bottle of whiskey that was left there for a better time.

It has been a little over a year and a half since he got drunk. Claire told him that in her opinion he might be drinking a little too much, which he agreed with. He drank to destress, and he had Claire to do that in… _many ways_, so he didn’t need it anymore.

But Claire wasn’t there with him, she wasn’t there to tell him no, she wasn’t there to distract him, and he needed to stop thinking. All he did for the past four months was think, and he needs a break. The last thing he would be able to recall after he wakes up tomorrow with a hangover is Claire’s face.

And that I exactly what happened. He drank so much that in a matter of two hours he was sleeping like a baby, and when he woke up and reality hit him, all he wanted to do was drink again. So he did. A never-ending spiral of madness, darkness that threatened to consume him whole. He didn’t care at that point. He thought he was stronger than this, but the truth was, he was strong because of her. And she wasn’t here to help him when he was down. And down he was.

For three weeks he didn’t leave his house for anything else than shopping. He stopped going to work, and Naveen understood that, the family tragedy was justification enough to take a break. What worried him, though, was that Ethan stopped contacting the outside world. No one knew where he was, it was like he was gone from the surface of Earth.

Ethan stopped taking care of himself around the same time as he started drinking. He didn’t feel the need to do it, he didn’t have the strength to do it. He just wanted to be left alone, hidden behind the closed door of his apartment. Just him, the silence, and the faint voices in his head that sounded like Claire and a little girl laughing.

\----- ----- ------

The night is dark when he decides to go there. He takes a quick shower, shaves and combs his hair for the first time in weeks, his tired eyes not able to stand the light, so he does it in almost complete darkness. He’s going to visit _them_.

He may have been drinking for the past three days without a break. He may be drunk as he walks out the door, barely able to hold upright. He might be drinking too much, but he cannot stop at this point. It’s the only thing that keeps him sane, lets him sleep and keeps the nightmares away. Lets him see his wife alive and well, not dying and in pain.

The graveyard is lit dimly by the lights that people left on multiple graves as he walks the alley to reach his family. The tombstone is finished and in place, it’s been that way for over two months now, and yet, it’s the first time he sees it. It’s the first time he’s here since the funeral. Ethan sat down on the bench, staring at their names written in the stone.

_Clarissa Ramsey 1987 - 2019_

_Elena Ramsey 2019-2019_

It looks wrong. It sounds wrong. A cruel joke, as he always said it was, but now it seemed more real than ever. They were right before him, right under him, so close, yet so far.

“Hi… I’m sorry I didn’t come here sooner I just—” he stumbles over his words, his drunken state not helping, making it almost impossible to get the sentences together and out there. “- I wanted to see you, but I was scared of coming here… it’s so much more real… I-“

He leaned over, his head spinning, and he fell onto the gravestone, his arms embracing the cold material it was made out of. Just as he lost his consciousness, he managed to whisper into the deep, dark night that surrounded him.

“I’m so sorry.”

His eyes closed.

\----- ----- -----

When they opened again, he noticed how he didn’t feel hangover, which was a miracle in itself, given how much he was drinking. He was surrounded by white light, which told him that he was probably at the hospital. Someone found him slumped over the grave and got him here, saving him.

But then he noticed that someone was running their fingers through his hair, just like Claire used to do when she was alive. A barely there touch, like a light breeze. His gaze shifted, but he was still blinded by the light, and couldn’t see a thing. Just then he felt something like locks of hair brushing against his face and a huff of air against his ear.

“Wake up, Ethan.” She whispered into his ear softly, which made him sit up immediately.

_Claire._

He was lying with his head in his lap, in the same position as when he collapsed onto the grave. She was looking at him with her bright, green eyes and tears on her cheeks. He lifted his hand to touch her face, but she shook her head, stopping him.

“Claire? Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m seeing you again. I thought you were dead, I-“ he started rambling, but her face grew pensive. “You- you’re still dead, aren’t you?”

She nodded her head, smiling sadly at him.

“But I don’t understand. If you’re dead, how am I seeing you? And why can’t I touch you?” he tried again, lifting his finger but she moved away yet again.

“You’ve passed out, you’re on edge so to speak. Let’s say you’re in the middle of the bridge.” She spoke softly. How he missed her sweet voice.

“And you are…?”

“On the other side of the bridge. I am already here, but you are not. That’s why you can’t touch me. You’re still alive, Ethan. And you have a choice to make.” She was looking at him just like she always did, a sight he thought he’d never see again.

“A choice? I don’t understand.” He shook his head, looking around. Just behind him there was a black spot, like something was opening. Naveen appeared, smiling knowingly at him.

Just then he felt two hands on his back, one small and another one bigger. He turned back to Claire, only to see that she wasn’t there alone anymore. Right by her side was a small girl, her hair copper, just like Claire’s, and her eyes were a sparkling blue. Just like his.

_Elena._

She was smiling at him with the same smile as her mother, one look at his daughter and she had him wrapped around her little finger. Like mother like daughter. He reached for her, but a blink of his eyes later he was far away from them, on a literal bridge, just like Claire mentioned earlier. To his left he had Naveen – _the world of living _– and to his right he had Claire and Elena, his family – _the world of the dead_. Naveen had his hand outstretched towards him, and his girls were smiling at him softly. Claire’s voice filled his mind as he closed his eyes.

_The choice is yours, Ethan._

_The choice is yours…_


	2. Bonus ending

Ethan’s eyes opened back up again, still on the bridge, but his mind made up. He looked at his family, standing there, Elena in Claire’s eyes, both with smiles on their faces. Then he looked at Naveen, his hand still outstretched, his eyes smiling at him. He took a deep breath. He was ready.

He looked at Naveen with guilt on his face, feeling the need to say something, to justify his choice, but his mentor didn’t need to hear his words to know why. He nodded with a knowing smile, letting him go.

Ethan wasted no time. He started running to his family, faster than he ever had before. They were waiting for him, Claire’s eyes filled with tears. His arms wrapped around his girls, bringing them both impossibly close. At that exact moment he knew that they would never be apart, they could finally be the family they were always meant to be.

He let them go, but only briefly, as he took Elena into his arms, cradling her delicately, afraid he’d break her. She was so small, yet so strong. She made him feel invincible, needed and wanted. But she also filled him with fear. What if he made one wrong move and hurt her? What if he dropped her? What if-

“You’re doing great, stop overthinking everything.” Claire said softly as she covered his hands with hers. “You’ve always had a habit of not believing in yourself enough.”

“But what if I hurt her? What-“ he started justifying his point of view, when she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Ethan. Look at her. She already loves you.”

And it was true. His daughter was looking at him as though he hung the moon in the sky, and she’d known him for no more than five minutes. He smiled, tears gathering in his eyes as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

“I mean, how could she not? I know how easy it is to fall in love with you. After all, I’ve been falling in love with you ever since I met you.” she whispered again, and he was overcame with the intense feeling of love he felt for her. His wife. He never thought he’d see her again, and now that she was this close, he had to touch her or he’d go mad.

He set Elena back down on the ground and the moved slowly to the side, playing with a bunch of toys that somehow appeared in her hands out of the thin air. That could have raised questions, and he would have asked her, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was a little occupied.

He grabbed Claire by her hips, hauling her onto him and slamming their lips together in a hungry kiss, full of urgency and need and longing. He felt delirious, so high on her that he could cry. She reciprocated his passion immediately, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. He groaned quietly, keeping the lid on his impulses and his need to find somewhere secluded and cherish her properly. His reaction caused her to giggle, her fingers tangling into his hair gently.

“So impatient, my love. We have a very long time together. Forever, actually.” She looked into his eyes, seeing the love in them, reflected in her own.

“Forever with you both? Sound like heaven.” He responded, calling for Elena, who came back to them, running, jumped into her father’s waiting arms, her hands hanging on tightly to his neck. Ethan wrapped his free arm around Claire’s waist tightly, pulling her to his side, and they went towards their future, their family whole and together at last.

\----- ----- -----

Naveen made it a habit of his to visit the Ramsey girls at least once a week. He knew the way to their grave by heart now, with how many times he’s been there. Today was no different, the morning seemed gloomy at the first glance, but it had the potential of turning out good.

Something was different about the way the grave looked from afar that morning. Like something was covering it. Upon closer inspection he found out that there was something there indeed. Some_one_.

Ethan.

He was slumped over the tombstone, his arms wrapped tightly around the cold stone, as though he was afraid to let it go. To let _them_ go. Naveen pressed his two fingers to the neck of the younger doctor, only confirming his suspicions.

He was gone. With his family, together again. And he was certain that he was happy.

After all, the smile on his face was the best reassurance he could get, along with a glimpse of sunshine that broke through the clouds.


End file.
